Growth Dudes
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Teardowns

Each one here
deletes
a bill

Every one of these was installed, run end to end and timed by us before it went up. The setup times are the ones we actually got - not the ones the docs promise.

01 / THE SHELF

A short shelf, on purpose.

Twelve is small and we would rather say so than pad it. Two of us install and time everything here, which caps how fast the shelf can grow and is the entire reason a listing on it means something.

It gets longer when people publish. That door is open.

Some of these need a server you're willing to maintain Difficulty is marked on every card and stated again at the top of each teardown. If ◆◆◆ isn't you, skip those - it costs you nothing and we'd rather you knew in five seconds than five hours.
Category
Setup

Blast radius: everything on the shelf right now is reversible - you can undo it. When that stops being true, this becomes a filter.

Showing all 12.

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Appwrite

A self-hosted backend-as-a-service. Database, auth, storage, and functions without Firebase's vendor lock-in.

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⏱ 30 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Cal.com

Self-hosted scheduling that doesn't charge per seat. The Calendly replacement where your booking data stays yours.

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⏱ 30 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Chatwoot

Live chat, email, WhatsApp, and Instagram DMs in one inbox. The Intercom alternative that doesn't charge per conversation.

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⏱ 40 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Ghost

A publishing platform that respects your words and your wallet. Newsletter, blog, and membership site in one. No Substack tax.

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⏱ 25 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Listmonk

Send newsletters and drip campaigns from your own server. No subscriber tax, no per-email pricing.

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⏱ 20 min ◆◇◇ copy, paste, done ↺ reversible
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MinIO

Your own S3-compatible storage. Upload, store, and serve files without per-GB pricing or vendor lock-in.

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⏱ 15 min ◆◇◇ copy, paste, done ↺ reversible
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n8n

Build automations visually, host them yourself. The Zapier replacement where you don't pay per task.

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⏱ 20 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Plausible Analytics

Privacy-first web analytics you host yourself. No cookies, no consent banners, no 47-dashboard clutter.

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⏱ 15 min ◆◇◇ copy, paste, done ↺ reversible
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Postiz

Schedule and publish to every social platform from one self-hosted dashboard. The Buffer replacement that doesn't cost $120/year.

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⏱ 30 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Twenty CRM

A CRM that looks like a 2025 product, not a 2008 enterprise tool. Open source, self-hosted, no per-seat pricing.

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⏱ 45 min ◆◆◇ some copy-pasting ↺ reversible
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Umami

Simple, fast, privacy-focused web analytics. A lighter alternative to Plausible with more chart types.

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⏱ 15 min ◆◇◇ copy, paste, done ↺ reversible
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Vaultwarden

A self-hosted password manager. The Bitwarden server, rewritten in Rust, running on a $5 VPS.

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⏱ 15 min ◆◇◇ copy, paste, done ↺ reversible

Nothing on the shelf matches that combination yet. Publishing one is how that changes.